Bungoma: A widow's perilous choice and the vengeful killing of her son
- Published By Whitney Okore For The Statesman Digital
- 4 months ago
It is a case packed with all the ingredients fit to cook up a sizzling Hollywood thriller, a potent mix of love, jealousy and murder.
Caught in a complex web of love, Linda Nasimiyu rues the day she brought in a 70-year-old lover after her husband Martin Sangura Wanyama died in 2022.
Nasimiyu, a 28-year-old woman from Rurare B village in Webuye West, found herself in a whirlwind of emotions after the death of her husband, who left her with 10 children to take care of. She had four with Sangura but was taking care of six others from Sangura’s first marriage after his wife died.
According to her, life became unbearable with ups and downs till April this year when she decided to take in a 70 –year-old as her husband in her matrimonial home to help her take care of the family.
According to some Luhya culture, a widow is allowed to bring in a man who does not necessarily stay with her. He visits the home occasionally.
“After my husband’s death, life was very difficult and due to poverty. I decided to take Wanjala Sitini, who was older than me, as my husband so that he could help me with family chaores,” said Nasimiyu.
She says life in the village was fulfilling yet demanding, as she worked tirelessly to provide for her family through farming and occasional odd jobs.
“Although I did farming, life was difficult and Sitini approached me one evening and asked me to be his lover. Since he was widowed, I felt it was an answered prayer to end my home troubles. I welcomed him to my home because I saw him as a responsible man due to his old age. He looked mature and i was convinced he will help me with both family chores and conjugal needs,” said Nasimiyu
At first, she says, her lover’s presence was a source of comfort for her and her children.
The man quickly integrated himself into their daily routine, offering guidance to her family. His gentle nature and genuine concern for their well-being earned him the respect and admiration of the entire family.
Just two months later, the relationship became sour and she sought to send him away for being disrespectful, threatening to kill her and being violent even before the kids.
Worst of all, she says, what began as occasional nights of drunkenness escalated into a distressing routine, as the old lover went further to urinate on her sufurias whenever he came from a drinking den.
“I loved him at first but I could not stand by and watch him destroy my children. He used to urinate on the sufurias that I use for cooking. According to our culture, this act can make my children become mentally ill because he is old enough to be a grandfather and it’s like cursing them.
Additionally, she says, the man could strip her naked in front of her children anytime she confronted him and tried to warn him from urinating on her sufurias.
“Never has my late husband laid a hand on me. But my estranged lover has on many occasions turned my body into a drum beat. He even does it in front of my kids,”she said.
She says she even reported the matter to the area chief and elders where Sitini was summoned to the chief’s office and warned but vowed to do something that the woman would regret.
“Life became more difficult than I expected and the love that I had for this man faded. Despite him being a provider, he abused me on several occasions and I reported the matter of threats to our chief and he was summoned but still became rude and arrogant,” she said.
Tragedy struck unexpectedly one evening at Nasimiyus home when her lover strangled her son and cut his body into small pieces and threw them in a pit latrine.
Her 8-year-old son, Peter Barasa went missing for a week and his decomposing body was later retrieved on Tuesday this week from a neighbour’s pit latrine.
Nasimiyu says that she was called by a neighbour, who told her that he had discovered a bad odour in a toilet and established it to be pieces of a human body.
And because her son was missing they suspected the pieces to be the remains of her missing son.
“My son went missing and he was last seen with my lover. He had just come back from school for lunch and I asked him to remove maize from the kiln as I proceeded to the farm. Those were my last moments with my child,” she said.
“I came back from the farm and my eldest son told me that he had left him with Sitini and when the night approached, I decided to go and check on him at his house but he denied seeing him. This made me raise eyebrows.
She says after her son went missing, Sitini too went missing, prompting the community to suspect him.
“The loss of my son has left me devastated, grappling with the sudden emptiness in my heart. I regret everything but I have learnt it the hard way. However, I am happy that he was killed by an irritated mob who searched for him after he fled the area and found him in Kimilili,” said Nasimiyu.
“I am sure I could be a victim of this violence and not my son because he attempted to stab me three times. I didn’t know I had been living with a dangerous person in my house. This is something that I will never forget. I only appeal to well-wishers who will be touched by my story to help me raise fees for my children or any offer.
According to the Bharefu clan traditions, which is the Nasimiyu’s, when such death, which they call forced death, occurs in their clan, elders assemble and perform traditional rituals.
Jack Kawa, the chair of the clan and area Member of County Assembly (MCA), says that a sheep will be slaughtered and its intestine put on a basin.
Then every family member, close relatives and those who retrieved the body will wash their hands on the intestine.
Waka said the traditional process of managing such a disaster commences immediately and concludes a day after the burial of the deceased.
“In line with the traditions, since our child’s death was a forced one, we will have to slaughter a sheep and anyone who interacted with our son will wash his hands in the intestines of the sheep,” he said.
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