Nairobians love to party. Our nightlife is second to none, at least in the region. We are the heart and soul of sherehe from Monday to Monday.

This trend has seen a rise in entertainment joints and clubs springing up left right and center, and why not? The demand is certainly there. On the flip-side though, the overall experience at night clubs can really irritate you and make you regret going out. I believe clubs should be a place where patrons really cool off and enjoy some good music and company in absolute comfort and mwonjoyo. Sadly, these days you probably will leave a night club irritated at something and, it doesn’t end there. You hop into another club and its the same thing all over again.

Here are Top 9 Annoying Things About Nairobi Night Clubs/ Discos and Entertainment Joints

• Dishonest labour force (waiters and bar tenders)

This one is directed at waiters and bartenders, who overcharge you just because they think you are too drunk to realize it.

It has become a common occurrence in every single night you go out clubbing where you will see arguments between patrons and waiters/ bartenders who think they can suddenly overcharge inebriated clients. The staff collude and inflate the bill or insist that you drank a certain number of drinks when you did not and are aware of exactly what you drank and the quantity.

• Rude bouncers

This group of staff tend to behave as though they are the most powerful people in the club, forgetting that the customer is the most important person.

In all honesty, many bouncers have little to no experience and receive no real training. Clubs tend to hire people who have developed a little muscle here and there, maybe a 6 pack as bouncers at a night club.

They are rude, entitled and mean at the entrance, which already gets you irritated yet you haven’t even entered the establishment.

Then, there are those who ask or demand for tips just because they probably complemented your style or smiled at you, yet they have not done anything to deserve that tip in terms of providing a service.

• Skimpily dressed product push girls

Club owners have this mindset that, all the push girls (the ones selling you a product) must be dressed in the tiniest of clothes and approach men thinking their short, tacky dresses are enough to persuade them to purchase the product.

You walk into a club, and a young lady comes to you, dressed in almost nothing and she is trying to convince you to buy a premium drink with no knowledge of the product and just face and body to offer. How now? It makes you question which school these club owners went to, that taught them that this thing actually works or sells volumes.

• Poor ventilation

A club should have either good AC or have wide open windows for fresh air.

The management must ensure adequate ventilation and air-conditioning, for the comfort and safety of everyone. I have walked into clubs with poor ventilation, and it is suffocating, you end up getting nauseated due to the mixtures of smells, this is a mixture of colognes, sweat, the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and vapes, you also end up sweating like a pig.  

Without adequate ventilation, the air quality deteriorates, patrons get uncomfortable and honestly, its absolutely discomforting.

• DJs who talk more, than what they are playing: the music

The reason we mostly go to clubs is to listen to our favorite music uninterrupted.

Who in their minds told some DJs to suddenly turn clubs into radio stations, where you could hear more of the DJ than the music playing?

It is quite annoying, and it should be called out.

 A DJ is there to play music, drop his sets if we really need to know him, maybe send a shout out if requested to, to someone having a birthday, but generally just play the music and SHUT UP!

Instead of coming up with different introductions and things to say please work on your craft and let the music play.

• Taking pictures of revellers without their consent

It’s high time photographers hired by the clubs, stop taking pictures of revellers and, stop posting them on their social media pages. This form of content should be paid for, if you take someone’s picture and use it to market your club, then pay that person.

Last week, The Data Protection Commissioner (ODPC) fined a restaurant/ club based along Ngong Road in Nairobi, Sh1.85 million for posting a reveller’s image on their social media platform without the person’s consent. This should be a wakeup call to every club out there.

• Overcapacity in clubs

There needs to be a limit as to how many people are allowed in an establishment.

Some clubs get so packed, like a concert, literally that there is no space to even move around, with crowds milling all around tables hence not enough space to even dance or walk around. I understand clubs must make money but at what cost? Comfort is important.

Overcrowding also brings about a lot of theft cases.

• Cleanliness of Utensils (shots glasses)

We all love shots! You meet someone who hasn’t seen you in a long time and even before you know it, they are ordering shots for you and it’s a good thing. However, can club owners ensure their staff actually clean those glasses.

 I have seen dirty shots glasses, like the person just rinsed and gave it out to the next person ordering shots.

Those ladies selling shorts also put the glasses back on their strap and reuse with the next person who wants shots. It might just be the reason why you go home and take 3 business days to recover from a nightout, yet you  probably only took 2 shots.

• Less washrooms and dirty rest rooms

It is unacceptable to have a long queue at the urinals/ toilets. Clubs should ensure they have enough restrooms and have staff on standby cleaning them every minute, someone walks out of the loo.

These days you enter a club, that has a capacity of 150 and only have 2 or 3 toilets. You dread going to the loo because of the queuing so you find men especially, walking outside and finding some shrub/ bush/ grass to pee on. Sometimes you even find ladies, begging the men, if they can use their loos.

Having clean and enough washrooms enables revellers to be comfortable and stay longer as there’s no stress when it comes to relieving themselves.