During a recent heart-to- heart chat with my good friend Jecinter Akinyi, she confided in me about her frustrations with her partner’s misunderstandings. “Sometimes I just say okay… while in reality, I’m not,” Jecinter shared. “He thinks I’m okay, but I’m not.”

Similarly, Joseph Onyango, another friend, expressed his confusion regarding his girlfriend’s communication habits.

“If I ask her if she’s okay, she replies with ‘I am fine,’ yet she’s not talking to me,” he admitted.

These conversations shed light on a common communication gap between partners, where words like “okay” or “fine” may not accurately reflect true feelings.

There, it is important to approach language with sensitivity and understanding, especially when discussing gender dynamics.

Below are some five words that men should watch for:

Fine

This word may seem simple, but when used in certain contexts, such as during a disagreement or when asked if everything is okay, it could indicate that the person is not fine at all. It may signify suppressed emotions or a desire for the other person to understand their feelings without explicitly stating them.

Approach: Instead of taking “fine” at face value, consider gently probing to understand what the person is truly feeling. Express empathy and openness to communication to create a safe space for them to share their concerns.

Nothing

Similar to “fine,” when a woman says “nothing” in response to a question or a situation, it might not always mean there’s nothing wrong.

It could imply that she’s upset or bothered by something but may not feel comfortable expressing it directly.

Approach: Respectfully acknowledge her feelings and reassure her that you’re there to listen if she wants to talk. Demonstrating patience and understanding can encourage her to open up when she’s ready.

I’m fine with whatever

While this phrase might seem accommodating on the surface, it could indicate indecision or a lack of assertiveness. It may suggest that the person is hesitant to voice their preferences or needs, possibly due to fear of conflict or a desire to avoid imposing on others.

Approach: Encourage open communication by inviting the person to share their genuine preferences and opinions. Let them know that their input is valued and that you’re willing to consider their perspective in decision-making processes.

Do what you want

This phrase may be perceived as giving permission or relinquishing control, but it could also signal resignation or disinterest. It might suggest that the person feels unheard or undervalued in the decision-making process and has resigned themselves to letting others take charge.

Approach: Encourage collaborative decision-making and actively seek the person’s input to ensure that their needs and preferences are taken into account. Validate their contributions and make them feel empowered to participate in shaping outcomes.

Never mind

When someone says “never mind” after initiating a conversation or making a request, it could imply frustration, disappointment, or a sense of dismissal. It may indicate that the person feels their efforts are unappreciated or that their concerns are being disregarded.

Approach: Acknowledge the person’s feelings and express a genuine interest in understanding their perspective. Encourage them to share their thoughts and reassure them that their contributions are valued and respected.