When it comes to dating, most of us focus on the red flags; the things that scream “run for your life!” From anger issues to disrespect, inconsistency, or indifference, they’re the obvious deal-breakers.

Okay, we get it, red flags get all the attention. But if you’re only looking for what not to do, you might miss all the good stuff, the green flags.

But what about the green flags? Those subtle signs that whisper, or sometimes shout, “this one is worth keeping.”

For some, green flags show up as emotional maturity; for others, it’s financial responsibility or even a great sense of humour.

Citizen Digital asked both men and women what makes them think “this is the one”. The answers were funny, blunt, honest, and even a little controversial.

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Keenness and attentiveness

For Sharon, a 24-year-old nurse in Nairobi, attentiveness is the ultimate green flag.

“If he is keen on what I say, listens when I talk, and remembers the little things that aren’t that important, that melts my heart completely,” she says.

“Remembering things like my favourite snack, shoe brand, or movie and bringing it up later, now that’s a husband right there.”

The way to his heart… is food

Geoffrey admits that good cooking seals the deal for him.

“If the babe can cook, I’d marry her very fast. I know it may seem old school or petty, but for me, a woman who can cook — and not just cook, but make tasty food — is a huge green flag. It’s a love language for me,” says the 34-year-old engineer.

Generosity and stability

For Christine, 37, generosity and financial stability are top green flags.

“If he is willing to spend on me, pamper me with gifts, send monthly allowances, and take me on trips while being financially stable himself — that’s a man to brag about,” she says.

“Showing he knows I’m his woman and wants to take care of me. That’s such a green flag.”

A sense of humour

Gerald, 25, believes laughter is non-negotiable.

“I’m a funny person; people always tell me that. So, when I meet someone who matches that vibe, it’s an instant yes,” the university student says, adding that he has no patience for anyone who cannot get his dark humour.

Consistency is key

Angela values consistency above all else.

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“A man who shows me consistency is a green flag. It shows he’s interested and invested. Not the kind who replies after 6 or 7 hours — no one is that busy. If he’s steady in his communication and how he shows up for me, then he’s serious,” she says.

Independence matters

Elijah, a 30-year-old businessman, believes independence is attractive.

“If she has a life outside of me, that’s a huge bonus point. A woman who has her work, friends, and hobbies — whose life doesn’t revolve around me — is self-dependent, and that’s a very attractive trait. A real green flag.”

In the end, green flags are personal. What’s attractive to one person may be boring to another. But maybe next time you’re out on a date, don’t just scan for the reds, look out for the greens too.