They say experience is the best teacher, and there is nothing more true in life than this. Going through wins and loses to learn how to do it better the next time. This is especially true in business operations or establishing certain routines in life.

But the one thing I feel people don’t have to experience in life in order to learn a lesson for the next go around is when it comes to matters love. Yes, many people yearn to be in loving relationships and are always amazed by beautiful relationships portrayed on social media or outside a couple’s four walls but what they may not know is that behind closed doors, things are bad.

Knowing such a couple that only shows off the tip of the iceberg of their ‘goals worthy’ relationship should be cause for you to learn difficult love lessons without having to personally experience the difficult side of love. Here’s how you can go about learning these lessons without the experience:

First, if you are friends with either person in such hectic relationships, listen to their stories to get practical insights and lessons that you can use to understand love and relationships. The fact it is first hand information (without a friend of a friend passing on gossip to you) can move you to adjust your life and know how to react in the event you see signs of difficult love coming up in your life.

Secondly, you can actively explore different types of love relationships from different cultures to understand how they understand and express love. Nyanza and Coastal region people might express love differently from Mount Kenya region residents; and so, knowing how these people handle love and all matters related to it may save you heartaches in the event you find yourself being pursued by someone from these regions.

Additionally, you can chose to go down the path of having ‘love mentors’ and counselors who have more insights about romantic relationships to gain their wisdom, like how couples undergo premarital classes. These conversations can help you figure out how you can keep your love relationships sweet and stable even in the face of looming drama.

Last but not least, while this can be considered a chore, if you don’t want to interact with other people in learning lessons without the experience, you can chose to read books, watch movies or listen to podcasts to understand relationship dynamics; and decide if love is something you want to pursue in a world where sour love can result in fatalities, financial ruin and loss of self worth and independence.

By understanding love and its problems, you don’t have to get into relationships where you will have to experience difficulties you already saw others facing. You can learn from them and dodge these problems when they begin heading your way.

You don’t have to smell garbage to know that it stinks.