• Thursday, 01 December 2022
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Keeping an Opposite Sex Best Friend; Yay or Nay?

Keeping an Opposite Sex Best Friend; Yay or Nay?

Contrary to popular belief, "it is much preferable for women to keep men as friends," I have never agreed and will never agree. My best friends are all women, and I only have one male best friend. A good friend is not gendered specific in any way; however, making friends from both genders is fun; we think, act, and live differently, so it's fascinating to see life through each other's eyes. I know I speak for the majority of women when I say we enjoy having guys as friends; I also speak for all of us when I ask, "Why do you men complicate friendship?" What exactly is the color of your gender's problem? a lady anonymously asks.

As a female, If you have a male best friend and neither of you is homosexual, but the man has never initiated sexual advances or becomes emotionally involved at some point. There's a good chance it will still happen, or maybe he's hiding it perfectly and you've been unconsciously missing the sign for reasonable reasons, or maybe you're among the lucky 1% who have magically mastered the art of friendship with men.

Drawing the line between a romantic and non-romantic relationship with men is difficult; even if you establish your platonic relationship from the start, one party unconsciously ends up attaching strings. Sometimes the focus shifts to the girl, but don't be fooled.

It is the man who loses focus 85 percent of the time. A Teen Vogue study sheds more light on this. According to a new study, men fall in love faster than women, and the reason could be biological. According to a survey of 172 college students, men fall in love more easily than women. 

For obvious reasons, I’ll be speaking more from the woman’s perspective on keeping a man as a best friend. If that’s a problem, I am in my house, come and beat me. Haha!

Why do women maintain friendships with men?

We live in different social worlds as men and women, with different interests and social styles. I enjoy having men as close friends because they make me feel safe, they think differently, they decode other men's true intentions and tell me how to deal with them, and they enlighten me more about their interests like sports, finance, and technology and give excellent recommendations. You can also pick their brain about other men-related topics.

Is it possible to have a platonic relationship with a man?

Being someone's best friend implies that you enjoy spending time with them, and when you spend so much time with the opposite sex, feelings can be initiated.

You try calling men your G, your brother, in the hopes that they will understand the boundary you are establishing. You'd even tell them about the men in your life, the ones you like, the ones who don't stand a chance, and the ones who provide excellent care, hoping they'd realize they're not in the picture.

You even communicate as adults and say to each other, "we are adults, we know what we want, this is merely a platonic friendship," but let's not fool ourselves; feelings have no business with a verbal agreement made between two adults who claim to know what they want because we all know the heart is very foolish — plus, I believe the container containing Oxytocin leaks frequently in adults.

My relationships with three of my male best friends have been strained as a result of their desire for more. Losing that sense of closeness you once had with a friend is heartbreaking on every level, so I've asked myself repeatedly, "Is it worth it?"

It's one thing to have that best friend of the opposite sex when you're a single person, but it's quite another when you start dating (why does that sound wrong?).

They say to date your best friend, but most women do not want to date their best friends; after all, they are your best friend for a reason. Of course, your partner is also your best friend.

The Decisive Moment
In their right mind, no man or woman would want to share their partner with someone else. We've even seen women/men commit insane acts when someone gets in the way of their relationship; some go diabolic, stalk, harm, or even kill the person with whom their partner is involved. Jealousy is a deep, dark, and ugly emotion.

Human beings are unpredictable; who wants to find out 5 or 10 years later that their partner has been sexually attracted to their so-called bestie as well?

You can choose to fight the fight and persuade your partner that it's all platonic, but if you want to avoid jealousy and drama, you'll need to set boundaries. Say goodbye to everything if you were friends who used to do everything together. Once you're in a serious relationship, you're not going to hang out with your best friend of the opposite sex as much as you used to.

The amount of time you spend talking has to be drastically reduced; no more sleepovers, no more late-night adventures; in essence, you would be de-ranking.

You apparently can't have your cake and eat it. Still, I'd answer the big question with this: yes, yes, yay, yay — you can have a healthy relationship with your best friend of the opposite sex, but only if your level of closeness is reduced, and you set those boundaries. Even if you know with all your heart that it is impossible to develop an atom of sexual attraction for each other, you must consider your partner's feelings; as I previously stated, trust and jealousy do not exist in the same dictionary. Jealousy is an unavoidable side effect of loving someone.

Communication is essential; express your feelings about your partner's relationship with the opposite sex. The bottom line is that we all need friends, whether we are men or women, but keep in mind that when sexual or physical attraction is involved, maintaining friendship becomes difficult.

In most cases, our hearts do not communicate with our brains, so if you find yourself in this situation while in a relationship, please dear, flee. If you're not in a relationship and you can both understand the attraction, congratulations! Make the best of it, but stay safe, kids! haha. bye! 

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