Wanderlust Diaries Founder Amakove Wala has shared how ignoring red flags early in her marriage 'cost' her.

Sharing her experience on 'Shared Moments with Justus'

Amakove shared

'I got married in 2006.

There were red flags right along but society had given boxes which I was ticking.

Being a good student of life I tried to excel in everything. 

Some things were shouting red even before marriage but I thought I could fix it but I was unable to.

Within the marriage, the things that I ignored were still present."

Amakove says she tried covering for the 'red flags' in her marriage by being perfect in other fields.

"I covered these 'things' by excelling in my work, so money was not an issue, then I had children.

The triplets demanded a lot from me.

I would cover the marital 'blanks' with money and parenting but at some point, I lost my job.

 I was only a wife in terms of a title. In 2013 after I lost my well-paying job the cracks started happening.

Sex was almost used as a tool, It was sexual abuse now that I think of it.

It was given when he wanted or denied it as a way to punish you.

Most people don't understand how a husband can deny his wife sex.

As a woman, you start feeling inadequate."

The mother of four says her marriage failure came with its fair share of challenges.

"I am a fixer by nature, but not being able to fix my marriage is what I struggled with the most.

Not long after, my marriage I was admitted for a week after my body was crushed.

One day I was called by the landlord and was told rent for almost two months had not been paid, I was then called by the school and was told not to take my kids to school as school fees had not been paid.

I was also called by a company we had brought property in and was told that they were selling the property because there was a charge (1.2 million) which had not been paid."

She says it had been agreed her ex-husband would be responsible for the same.

Amakove added she was only able to come out of the 'mess' after changing her mentality and understanding it was not her fault the marriage filed.

She also praised her family and her friends for coming through for her financially and emotionally after her marriage failed.

She has since picked up the pieces and is happily raising her four kids.

She denied having been unfaithful

"I never cheated on my marriage despite having opportunities to."