We’ve all heard the phrase 'What’s good for the goose is good for the gander', and while it might work in some contexts, it’s not always a fair comparison when it comes to relationships.

What happens when the tables are turned, and it’s not the husband but the wife who’s got someone else in the picture?

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your wife is keeping a few secrets, it’s time to sharpen your detective skills. Just pay attention to the small changes in her behaviour.

Here’s how to tell your wife has a boyfriend

1. Phone mystery

First and foremost, the phone. If you’ve noticed that her phone is now always face down on the table, tucked away under pillows, or worse, gets a flurry of 'urgent' calls at odd hours, then you might have a reason to raise an eyebrow.

Everyone needs a bit of privacy, but if you’re no longer allowed to sneak a glance at the phone during dinner (or worse, there’s suddenly a passcode that never existed before), it’s a sign that something has changed.

2. Sudden change in appearance

Remember the days when she’d rush to get ready for date night, and you'd joke about her spending too much time in front of the mirror?

Well, if she’s suddenly adopting a new, more sophisticated look—perhaps a wardrobe upgrade, new hairstyle, or experimenting with makeup in ways you’ve never seen before—your curiosity might be justified.

Could she be trying to impress someone else? You’ll have to use your best judgement here, but if she’s looking all glammed up for no reason, you might want to ask her what the occasion is.

3. Increase in 'Girls' Nights'

Now, we all love a good girls’ night out. There’s nothing wrong with some time apart to recharge with friends.

But if those nights seem to be increasing in frequency (and her stories about them start sounding a little too scripted or vague), it might be time to ask a few more questions.

Has she started 'disappearing' for entire weekends or making last-minute plans that she didn’t mention earlier in the week? If she’s out more than she’s in, it could indicate that there’s someone else filling the void.

4. Emotional distance

Is she suddenly more distant, emotionally unavailable, or preoccupied? If your wife is finding less time to talk about her day or is disinterested in family matters that once excited her, then you might notice the emotional shift.

She may be distracted by someone else or just enjoying a separate, private world that doesn’t involve you.

Sometimes, it’s the little things like a lack of affection, less eye contact, or not getting involved in family conversations.

5. Unexplained absences

One of the most obvious signs is unexplained absences or vague answers about where she’s been.

When asked about her day, she might give you the same response repeatedly—“Just work, just errands”—but there’s something in her eyes that tells you she’s hiding more than she’s letting on.

If she’s suddenly working late every evening or going to “see a friend” who’s conveniently always unavailable, then you might want to investigate further.

While work commitments or social obligations do crop up, patterns of unexplained disappearances could raise suspicions.

6. Sudden shift in attitude

You may notice a change in how your wife treats you. Perhaps she’s acting overly defensive, or maybe she’s become overly concerned with your whereabouts.

People who cheat often project their guilt, and she may now ask you about your day in more detail than before, as though she’s trying to gauge your honesty.

Likewise, if she starts getting easily irritated or overly sensitive to minor things, this could be a sign that her mind is elsewhere, and her guilt is leading her to be more on edge.

7. Subtle behaviour changes in public

If she’s acting differently in public, it could be another sign. For instance, if she suddenly becomes overly affectionate or touches you in a way she didn’t before—almost as if to 'prove' something to others—it might be her way of assuring herself that everything is fine.

Alternatively, she may be distant, cold, or avoid making eye contact with you in social situations.

It’s like a dance. The key is to recognise when she’s stepping out of rhythm.

8. Your gut feeling

Lastly, your gut is a powerful tool. If your instincts are telling you that something’s off, it’s worth considering.

We can’t always pinpoint what feels wrong, but intuition often knows what our minds can’t process immediately. So if you're sensing a shift, pay attention to it and take the necessary steps to address it.

Conclusion

In the end, a healthy relationship should be built on trust, communication, and mutual respect.

If you feel like there’s something fishy going on, don’t jump straight into accusations. Instead, talk to your wife. Open up a conversation and express your concerns.

It’s better to address doubts and insecurities head-on than to let them simmer into something bigger.

This content was generated by an AI model and verified by the author.