Persistent jealousy, lack of support, and feeling like you must walk on eggshells around your partner may be signs of an unhealthy relationship. Support is available if you need to leave.

In a healthy relationship, everything just kind of works. Sure, you may disagree from time to time or come upon other bumps in the road. Still, you generally make decisions together, openly discuss any problems that arise, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

Toxic relationships are another story. In an unhealthy relationship, you may consistently feel drained or unhappy after spending time with your partner, according to relationship therapist Jor-El Caraballo. This may suggest that some things need to change.m

Maybe the relationship no longer feels enjoyable, though you still love your partner. For some reason, you always seem to rub each other the wrong way or can’t seem to stop arguing over minor issues. You might even dread seeing them, instead of looking forward to it as you did in the past.

What are the signs of a toxic relationship?

Depending on the nature of the relationship, signs of toxicity can be subtle or highly obvious, explains Carla Marie Manly, PhD, author of “Joy from Fear.”

When you’re in a toxic relationship, you may not always find it easy to notice the red flags. You could also notice some of these signs in yourself, your partner, or the relationship itself.

Lack of support

“Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire to see the other succeed in all areas of life,” Caraballo says. But when things turn toxic, every achievement becomes a competition.

In short, the time you spend together no longer feels positive. You don’t feel supported or encouraged and can’t trust them to show up for you. Instead, you might get the impression that your needs and interests don’t matter; they only care about what they want.

Toxic communication

Instead of kindness and mutual respect, most of your conversations are filled with sarcasm or criticism and fueled by contempt — a predictor of divorceTrusted Source.

Do you catch yourself making snide remarks to your friends or family members? Maybe you repeat what they said mockingly when they’re in another room. You may even start dodging their calls just to get a break from the inevitable arguments and hostility.

Envy or jealousy

While it’s perfectly fine to experience a little envy occasionally, Caraballo explains it can become an issue if your envy keeps you from thinking positively about your partner’s successes.

The same goes for jealousy. Yes, it’s a perfectly natural human emotion. But when it leads to constant suspicion and mistrust, it can quickly erode your relationship.

Controlling behaviors

Does your partner ask where you are all the time? Maybe they become annoyed or irritated when you don’t immediately answer texts or text you repeatedly until you do.

These behaviors might stem from jealousy or lack of trust, but they can also suggest a need for control — both of which can contribute to relationship toxicity. In some cases, these attempts at control can also offer abuse (more on this later).

Resentment

Holding on to grudges and letting them fester chips away at intimacy.

“Over time, frustration or resentment can build up and make a smaller chasm much bigger,” Caraballo notes.

Note whether you tend to nurse these grievances quietly because you don’t feel safe speaking up when something bothers you. Your relationship could be toxic if you can’t trust your partner to listen to your concerns.

Dishonesty

You find yourself constantly making up lies about your whereabouts or who you meet up with — whether that’s because you want to avoid spending time with your partner or worry how they’ll react if you tell them the truth.

Patterns of disrespect

Manly says that being chronically late, casually “forgetting” events, and other behaviors that show disrespect for your time are red flags.

Keep in mind that some people may have difficulty making and keeping plans on time, so it may help to start with a conversation about this behavior. If it’s not intentional, you might notice some improvement after you explain why it bothers you.

Negative financial behaviors

Sharing finances with a partner often involves some level of agreement about how you’ll spend or save your money. That said, it’s not necessarily unhealthy if one partner chooses to spend money on items the other partner disapproves of.

It can be toxic, though, if you’ve agreed about your finances and one partner consistently disrespects that agreement, whether by purchasing big-ticket items or withdrawing large sums of money.

Constant stress

Ordinary life challenges — a family member’s illness or job loss — can create tension in your relationship, of course. But finding yourself constantly on edge, even when you aren’t facing stress from outside sources, is a critical indicator that something’s off.

This ongoing stress can take a toll on physical and mental health, and you might frequently feel miserable, mentally and physically exhausted, or generally unwell.

Ignoring your needs

Going along with whatever your partner wants to do, even when it goes against your wishes or comfort level, is a sure sign of toxicity, says clinical psychologist Catalina Lawsin, PhD.

Say they planned a vacation to take you out of town on your mom’s birthday. But when they asked what dates were convenient, you emphasized that any dates were OK — as long as you didn’t miss your mom’s birthday on the 17th.

You don’t want to point this out since you don’t want to start a fight. So you say, “Great! I’m so excited.”

Lost relationships

You’ve stopped spending time with friends and family, either to avoid conflict with your partner or to get around having to explain what’s happening in your relationship.

Alternatively, you might find that dealing with your partner (or worrying about your relationship) occupies much of your free time.

Lack of self-care

In a toxic relationship, you might let go of your usual self-care habits, Lawsin explains.

You might withdraw from hobbies you once loved, neglect your health, and sacrifice your free time. This might happen because you don’t have the energy for these activities or because your partner disapproves when you do your own thing.

Hoping for change

You might stay in the relationship because you remember how much fun you had initially. Maybe you think that if you change yourself and your actions, they’ll also change.

Walking on eggshells

You worry that by bringing up problems, you’ll provoke extreme tension, so you become conflict avoidant and keep any issues or concerns to yourself.