Is My Boyfriend Cheating on me? 30 signs he’s cheating on you
Cheating, when it comes to relationships, is a scary word. It’s a dreaded reality that is familiar to all of us. It could have been with our parents, friends, or past relationships.
Falling in love is such a wonderful experience, but it’s also a risk.
When we enter a relationship, we also risk getting hurt. It takes a while for a person to trust, only to be betrayed by the one person you never thought could do it.
Is my boyfriend cheating?
It is a question that we don’t want to ask ourselves. But what if we are already seeing subtle signs of cheating? What can we do about it?
Learn the first signs your boyfriend is cheating
Some say your instincts will be the first sign of a boyfriend cheating.
It all starts with your gut feeling. Then you will notice minor changes in your boyfriend’s behavior. These are the signs of a cheating boyfriend in a relationship. But for some, how to see if a boyfriend is cheating does not come that easy.
“Is my boyfriend cheating, or is it just me being paranoid?”
If only we could directly ask and get the answer we want, but we can’t.
You can’t just ask your boyfriend about this because he might laugh and accuse you of baseless suspicion.
Aside from your intuition and subtle indications, are there any signs your boyfriend is cheating that you should look out for?
Is it possible to know if your boyfriend is cheating?
Cheating boyfriends are hard to catch. It may be their first time, but they would always figure out ways to avoid being caught.
Some men will go to great lengths to cover their infidelity. Sadly, this is a reality that many of us have already faced.
Have you ever asked yourself, ‘Is my boyfriend cheating?’
How can a man stay with you and tell you he loves you when he’s fooling around with someone else?
‘Is my boyfriend cheating?’ Can you spot signs he is cheating?
Do you want to figure out how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you? Here are 30 spot-on signs to watch out for if you suspect infidelity:
30 clear signs your boyfriend is cheating on you
Is my boyfriend cheating?
How many times has this thought crossed your mind? Do you suspect your boyfriend is cheating on you, and you want to know how to prove it?
There are actually many ways to see if your boyfriend is cheating, and if you know someone who has gone through the same situation, they would probably tell you the same thing.
Find out if he’s cheating on you with these 30 clear signs.
1. He’s always distracted
“I think my boyfriend is cheating because he’s always distracted.”
You are together under one roof, yet it seems like he’s not present. He’s not ‘in the moment’ with you. You have to call his name more than twice or repeat what you just said.
It’s okay to be like this sometimes; maybe, for example, your boyfriend is thinking of work. But what if he’s distracted by someone else?
2. He buys new cologne and clothes
Here is another obvious sign to watch out for. Is your boyfriend suddenly extra conscious about his looks?
Like a teenager in love, we’re all familiar with the urge to look your best when you’re attracted to someone. Buying new clothes, changing his hairstyle, and buying new cologne may just be a way to get his self-esteem back, or maybe, he’s trying to impress a new girl.
3. He becomes irritated
Suddenly, your boyfriend becomes irritated whenever you become clingy to him. All of a sudden, he gets annoyed when you sing to him.
Feels weird? Maybe because before, he used to love all the quirky stuff you did for him, but now it’s the exact opposite.
The change in his behavior can mean that he’s dealing with problems or he’s having an affair.
4. You notice he always has mood swings
It’s sad when you see him get irritated with you, but what if he changes back to his old self again and becomes that super sweet partner?
What’s going on?
This is one of the common signs he is definitely cheating on you. When a man is seeing someone else, he feels guilty, angry, and confused, that’s why he’s always lashing out. Then he feels guilty and tries to make it up.
We see it as frequent mood swings, but your boyfriend has a lot going on.
5. His routines have changed
Are there other ways how to know if my boyfriend is cheating on me?
Be extra observant about his routines. We all have routines that make our life organized. For example, he is used to waking up at 6 am and clocking in at 8 am. Then, he usually gets home at a specific time, not unless there’s overtime or a meeting.
Have you noticed drastic changes in his schedule? Does he go to work extra early and come home late? Maybe, he started going to the gym more often, even when he’s doing overtime.
This may mean that your boyfriend is trying to fit his affair into his schedule.
6. He suddenly likes doing overtime
What if your boyfriend suddenly becomes enthusiastic, and it seems like he wants to be the “employee of the month”? He always comes home late because he’s doing overtime.
It could be that he’s trying to get promoted, but if you feel that it’s not about the promotion, then that seals your suspicion. No one would work extra just because they love their job.
Also, be wary if suddenly, your boyfriend becomes occupied with a new hobby and reserves all of his free time for it. The new hobby or promotion might be another woman.
7. You don’t talk as often
He goes home so tired or busy that he forgets to ask about your day.
Sometimes, even if it is his day off, he needs to go somewhere or needs to unwind. He always looks at his phone or spends extra time in the bathroom.
When you have him all alone, he would rather sleep than cuddle and talk. You would feel these changes because they’re pretty obvious. Some signs don’t need to be said out loud because your heart would know.
8. He no longer invites you to go out
You used to go out and check out coffee shops or restaurants.
Now, he always has reasons not to go out, or maybe, he just doesn’t invite you to go out at all anymore. You might start to feel like he’s slowly distancing himself from you and starts to avoid the things that will work on your intimacy.
9. He feels distant
You feel it, don’t you?
He slowly becomes a stranger. The man who used to be so passionate, intimate, romantic, and attentive has changed.
You don’t feel the connection anymore. You feel that he’s distant, and at times, it may seem that he doesn’t want to look into your eyes. The most common reason is that he’s already falling for someone else.
10. He doesn’t say ‘I love you’ as often
“Is my boyfriend cheating? He no longer says that he loves me.”
Again, routines are hard to change, not unless something is going on. When you have been together for some time, saying the three-letter word is like wearing your underwear.
You can’t go out without reminding your partner that you love her.
But what if he does? What if, one day, he just leaves without saying it? Maybe, it’s just a mistake, but if you feel like he’s avoiding saying it to you, even if you’re the one who said it first, that means he’s likely having an affair.
11. You receive unexpected gifts
Who doesn’t want gifts? Any woman who receives one would feel special, right?
But what if your gut says otherwise? Along with the other signs that your boyfriend is having an affair, do you also notice that he sometimes becomes extra sweet?
After being distant and ‘busy’ for a week or two, he suddenly buys you an expensive watch. If you feel weird about it, then your suspicions might be correct.
12. He doesn’t want you texting or calling
Does he ask you not to call or text him because you’re disturbing his work?
What’s weird is that before, it was okay to message him. So, what’s the difference? If you do contact him, it takes him forever to reply, or sometimes, he won’t reply at all.
If he wasn’t like this before, you already know the reason why.
13. He blurts out comparison statements
A man may hide his affair all he wants, but sometimes, he might slip.
Has he said any weird comparison statements like, “Why can’t you be more outgoing!” or “Why don’t you take care of yourself?”
Suddenly, he has a different standard, and he only notices what you lack instead of your strengths. This could mean that he’s comparing you with someone else.
14. He becomes secretive with his belongings
You’re being sweet and caring, so you want to fix his luggage, but he suddenly acts weird and asks you to stop.
Or maybe, he seems to be extra secretive about his wallet, his car, and even his clothes. If you feel that something is going on and it’s not his usual behavior, then you’re right. He might be having an affair.
15. His phone password changed
“He changed his phone and social media passwords and asked for privacy. Is my boyfriend cheating?”
If he was open to you before, and all of a sudden, he values his privacy, then your suspicions might be correct. One more thing, you might notice that his phone is always with him, which he didn’t do before.
16. Sex feels different
How’s your sex life? Did you know that any changes in your sex life can mean that your partner is having an affair?
While there are scientific reasons why a person’s libido changes, like stress and medical conditions, it can also mean an affair.
Some have more sex because of the heightened libido of the affair. It’s thrilling, and the thought of it causes some people to get excited.
Some have less sex because he’s already doing it with someone else.
17. He’s extra busy
“Is my boyfriend cheating on me, or is he just busy?”
We all get busy sometimes. It happens, but not all the time. You know your boyfriend, his schedule, how he works, and even his hobbies.
So if you think something has changed, it’s time to be more observant.
It could be that someone resigned, or he needs to work harder. He can also be aiming for a promotion, or sadly, he may be using the ‘busy’ word to see another woman.
18. Unexplained expenses
If you have been transparent about your finances, then suddenly, your boyfriend becomes secretive or refuses to share his expenses, then that’s a red flag.
Of course, a man having an affair will refuse to have his finances checked.
19. He accuses you of flirting
Accusing you of cheating is a typical response of a man who is being unfaithful.
Unbelievable, right? It’s a way for him to project his wrongdoings or guilt. If he becomes irrational and starts asking if you’re cheating, chances are, he’s hiding something.
By being suspicious and blaming you for the sin, he can reverse the situation and be the victim.
20. He doesn’t like you tagging him on social media
When you talk about couple goals, it’s just normal for you to tag your boyfriend, right? Most guys don’t care and are okay with it.
However, a man who is having an affair will ask you to stop tagging him. He may also create a new account or just unfriend you completely.
21. He surprises you with new moves in bed
When you’re in the mood, sex can be awesome, but what if your partner suddenly shows off a different persona in bed?
Well, it could be because of porn movies, but trust your intuition on this. It feels different when a man has learned a new trick from a new lady. Most of the time, a man who wants to try new moves in bed wouldn’t be flawless with it, not unless he’s been practicing.
22. Your friends notice it
Sometimes, it is our friends who we can turn to when we are in doubt.
They will be the ones who will tell you the things that they notice, the things that you fail to accept, and sometimes, the signs they notice before you do.
You would be surprised that friends can notice these signs before you do, and that’s also normal.
23. Always out with ‘friends’ excuses
It’s okay for your boyfriend to go out with his friends, but what if, all of a sudden, they have weekly plans that don’t include you?
There can also be cases where his friends are always asking for him. Feels weird? Then, maybe he is just using them as excuses.
24. He hates it when you ask about his friends or coworkers
After noticing his frequent boys’ nights out and his friends asking for his help weekly, you are bound to get curious and end up asking about them.
This is where the other signs your boyfriend is cheating come in.
His usual response is to tag you along or explain what’s going on. However, if your boyfriend suddenly gets defensive or irritated, he might be hiding something from you.
25. Midnight calls and texts
You woke up in the middle of the night, and your boyfriend was not in bed. He’s outside talking to someone. Who would call him at this hour?
Maybe, you see his phone light up, which means someone messaged him.
Again, who would do that in the middle of the night?
If it’s an emergency, you would probably know. Sadly, if your boyfriend asks you to let the issue go or finds some excuse, you might want to consider digging deeper.
26. His excuses don’t add up
Have you ever caught your boyfriend trying to find an excuse and ended up telling you things that don’t add up?
There is no perfect cover-up. Sooner or later, your boyfriend might spill some information or even tell you something that won’t add up.
He may say that he was hanging out with someone, but you saw this person in the bakery.
27. He talks about getting a break from your relationship
Instead of talking about your future, you might notice that he has started giving hints about taking a relationship break.
You can also notice him being quiet when you are making plans.
You feel that he avoids specific topics, especially when you’re talking about your relationship or your future.
28. His friends become nervous around you
Have you ever felt like your boyfriend’s circle of friends has started avoiding you?
When you try to talk to them, they look uneasy and nervous. The most common reason is that his friends know the secret, and they are nervous about keeping it.
Try asking them and see if they can look you straight in the eyes or if they stutter and avoid the questions.
It would be heartbreaking to see that the people around you are also involved in your boyfriend’s infidelity, but it does happen.
29. He easily becomes offended with common questions
It’s just normal that when we have doubts in the relationship, we ask our partners. However, instead of explaining and assuring you of his fidelity and love, he acts defensively.
He can even get mad about your questions because he is guilty.
30. You have a gut feeling that he’s cheating
Our top boyfriend cheating sign is your gut feeling or intuition.
You can’t exactly pinpoint it yet, and you can’t even put it into words, but deep inside, you know there is something wrong.
Your boyfriend is no longer the same, and he’s hiding something.
When a woman feels there’s something wrong, it’s always correct. Of course, we can’t base everything on mere intuition. That’s why we also need to gather all the evidence and signs.
What should you do if you think your boyfriend is cheating?
Here’s what to do if you think he’s cheating.
First, be strong and get yourself together. It’s normal to feel angry because the man you love betrayed you. The next step will depend on you and your partner.
If the secret is out in the open, you need to talk about it. Assess the situation and yourselves.
Why is he cheating? Can you still forgive him? Does he want to stay?
These are just some questions that you need to address. Cheating is a major scar on a relationship.
“My boyfriend cheated on me; what should I do?”
Once you’ve talked about your relationship, take time. Put yourself first. You can talk to a trusted family member, a friend, or a therapist.
Take your time before you decide if you should stay or leave. Think of yourself and your kids, if you have any.
It’s hard to plan what to do when you suspect your boyfriend is cheating. You have to confirm your suspicion first, and these signs can help.
A person may show some of these signs and not be a cheater. He may be busy with work or a problem in the office he can’t talk about.
That’s why it’s not advisable to jump to a conclusion without enough evidence.
“Is my boyfriend cheating? Does he deserve another chance?”
If everything adds up and you’ve confirmed your suspicion, the next part is all about communication. You are to decide if your boyfriend is deserving of a second chance but remember, by giving him a second chance, you’re risking your heart again.
Think of yourself first and heal. Don’t rush and seek help. A family member, a friend, or a therapist can help you decide.
Just remember this, love yourself first and know when to let go.