
Why do I fall in love with so many guys?
- Published By Jedida Barasa For The Statesman Digital
- 4 months ago
Hi Chris,
Why do I fall in love with so many guys? They all feel like the love of my life, even though they’re often someone I just can’t be with, like my best friend’s new boyfriend. And it always ends badly. Will I ever have a ‘normal’ relationship?
Falling
Chris says,
Hi Falling!
You crush! Everyone does it sometimes, especially teenagers. Suddenly a stranger feels like the love of your life.
You start having inappropriate dreams and imaginary conversations with them, and you stand taller when they’re around. You like all their posts. When they friend you, it’s your best moment ever. The first time they realise you’re in heaven. Followed by soul-crushing doubt when they talk to someone else.
Crushes are driven by some very powerful brain chemistry that completely wrecks your judgment and sweeps away all your doubts and fears. You’re powerless to stop it. Or the sweaty palms, racing heartbeat, shaky knees, loss of concentration, dreaminess, heightened attention, desire, giddiness, excitement and nervousness that we call falling in love.
Because your dopamine levels are high. It’s highly addictive, so you like to fall in love over and over again. Your serotonin levels are low, which makes you obsessive, anxious and jittery.
Increased norepinephrine increases your energy and memory, making everything seem vivid and fantastic. Epinephrine is also increased, as it is when you’re frightened. Cortisol is released when you are stressed, and that increases your dopamine levels even more. So it all feels exciting and compulsive.
So what should you do? First, try to take a step back. You have poor judgement, remember? See if your crush seems interested in reciprocating, and if so, talk to him.
The worst that can happen is that he says no. It’s hard, but it’s better to know. And in a week, you won’t care any more. But don’t start harassing someone who’s not available. It might work in the movies, but in real life, it’s weird and scary.
Instead, get back out there! It’s hard and you’ll probably get rejected again. But sooner or later you’ll meet the right guy!
All the best, Chris
Share on
Tags
SHARE YOUR COMMENT
MORE STORIES FOR YOU
Trending Stories
DJ Mo’s former illicit lo...
- Published By Jane
- January 15, 2024
Mapenzi! Zari and Tanasha...
- Published By Jane
- October 24, 2023
Zuchu Speaks on Diamond P...
- Published By Jane
- October 12, 2023
Hio Ni Upumbavu Wasituche...
- Published By Jane
- November 8, 2023
RECOMMENDED FOR YOU
Men Should Ejaculate at L...
- Published By The
- January 31, 2025
The White Lotus to Zero D...
- Published By The
- January 31, 2025
7 types of kisses you pro...
- Published By The
- January 31, 2025
Fashion: 4 types of under...
- Published By The
- January 31, 2025
Latest Stories
Kisumu: Woman kills husba...
- Published By The
- February 22, 2025
See Jose Chameleone's Sh1...
- Published By Chief
- February 22, 2025
Bahati drops major hint o...
- Published By The
- February 21, 2025
Vera Sidika splashes over...
- Published By The
- February 21, 2025