Kenyans are funny people to mingle with, and learned friends are no different. Just the other day, many Kenyans were amused watching a popular advocate fumbling on national TV during a cross-examination. While some lawyers are overly emotional when handling cases, others are total quacks with no idea what they are dealing with. Here are ten types of lawyers you will come across in Kenya.

1. The Total Quack

He may have never set foot in any known law school, but he’s busy manoeuvring around, handling cases, and earning a decent income. By the time he gets exposed as a quack, he could have conned a lot of gullible Kenyans. Interestingly, he’s a genius at his work and wins most of the cases he handles.

2. Clueless

He may be a learned friend, yes, but he seems to have no idea about the client or the facts he’s representing. He simply picked up the client’s file, skimmed through it, and presented himself in court, ready to argue the case. For him, doing background research and thorough investigation is a waste of time since he has many other businesses to attend to.

3. The Conman

He might have professional qualifications, but he’s a notorious conman. He may offer to represent you free of charge to reclaim an insurance cover, but once the money is deposited, he disappears with it. He rarely keeps his end of the bargain after striking a deal over a case. In fact, he may take your money and completely fail to appear in court for your case.

4. The Hustler

He wears tattered suits and worn-out shoes to court. When he speaks in court, it’s clear he hasn’t had proper food for three days. His mouth is so dry, and he looks so emaciated that you wonder whether he’ll manage to get through the entire court session.

5. The Cunning

He knows the client is on the wrong side of the law but will manoeuvre through the case and twist the facts until the client wins. People love him and will do everything to secure his services because he knows how to play his cards. With him, you don’t need to worry because he knows how to outwit even the best lawyers and magistrates.

6. The Kienyeji Pro

He struggles with communication, often speaking with a heavy mother-tongue accent. When he argues in court, you can easily tell he was born and raised in Ukambani, attending school there from kindergarten to secondary school before moving to the city for college. He may also be unfamiliar with court processes and often needs guidance on what to do.

7. Organized and Presentable

She’s probably from Nyanza. She speaks impeccable English that moves judges and even prosecutors. Her attire is top-notch, and she understands the ideal fashion for each occasion. When asked to substantiate her claims during cross-examination, she doesn’t fumble like some of her learned friends from other regions. She is on point and quotes applicable articles to support her arguments.

8. The Confused Chap

He arrives in court 30 minutes late and realizes he forgot the file containing case information. He’s also unaware of the correct court to attend and keeps asking security officials where court number 9 is. You may even hear him addressing a female magistrate as "sir."

9. The Comedian

He’s the source of laughter when the court is in session. Even the usually serious, stone-faced judge can’t help but laugh at his jokes. If he weren’t a lawyer, he would have made an excellent stand-up comedian.

10. The Shy One

She is probably well-known in the field and not accustomed to standing before magistrates, prosecutors, and other lawyers. As such, you’ll rarely see her confidently facing judges and other legal officials.