One of the most strangest things about having sex as a woman is that you constantly have to remind the man about the condom and while at it you often have to negotiate for it. Simply wanting to have protected sex is never enough of a reason for these men. You have to bring up not being on your safe days to scare them into wrapping it up, and even then there is no guarantee. Most of the time they swear by how perfect their withdrawal game is and at this stage you get into an argument of whether you trust this method or not.

He can convince you to trust him, or you can convince him your fear for pregnancy is greater than your love for sex. The person who has perfected the art of emotional manipulation carries the day when it gets here.

For people who cry about being trapped with unwanted pregnancies everyday you would expect them to take responsibility for their fertility but they never do. You would expect them to be more careful because of all the sexually transmitted diseases that continue to ravage the world, and the diaper prices that continue to rise everyday, but they do not care about that either. Raw sex is always the ultimate goal.

It is more important than their health and the wishes of their partners. Their desire, and love for it, tramples above every Ted talk they ever received about protected sex. I wish I understood what it is about raw sex that is so glorious, and superior because there isn’t one man in this world who is impartial to it, or who prefers condom sex to it.

They all like it raw and they do everything to make sure they use condoms very rarely while being aware of the ramifications of not using them. I would pay to experience raw sex from a man’s perspective just so I understand their apprehension to condoms. It is simply one of those ironic things men do that scream irresponsibility, and selfishness. Condoms cannot be as unbearable as female contraceptives.

Female contraceptive methods are deeply invasive. They involve something being injected into your body, or something being painfully inserted into it. They involve tearing deep into your skin, or into your cervix with your legs apart, and two medical practitioners in the room with one of them being the live audience.

This brutality that is experienced when the contraceptives are getting into the body is the same brutality they exhibit once they settle in. They come with side effects such as bleeding, pain, depression and while condoms just make sex not as sweet for men, hormonal contraceptives tend to kill a woman’s libido completely.

Men’s apprehension towards condoms is more than a display of preference. Their apprehension to them is a lack of empathy and a show of selfishness and that is why women must learn to insist on the condom. Part of sexual liberation is advocating for yourself in the bedroom. Part of fighting for equality is making sure you aren’t shouldering the burden for birth control alone. Men must play their roles too.

You must never believe a man when he says he forgot to stock up on condoms. They never forget. “Forgetting” is just their way of talking you into unprotected sex.

They usually remember they “forgot” to buy them in the heat of the moment just when you have become wet with anticipation. They never say they “forgot” when they know the possibility of you saying no sex is higher than the possibility of you giving in.

And even when they agree to use them, you have to be very diligent. They can be very crafty. If he pretends he has forgotten to wear one, remind him. Some men go as far as tearing the condom to pressure you into having raw sex because after all si imepasuka? It could be a genuine tear but it is hard to know when men are being truthful so each time it tears, make him wear another one so he knows you have irreducible minimums that are non negotiable.

If he says he hates condoms. Remind him you also hate contraceptives, pregnancies, STDs, bacterial infections, and men who aren’t responsible enough to take control of their fertility. Men need to start wearing condoms and consistently so. We have been lax for too long.