How to rekindle the spark back into your relationship
- Published By Jedida Barasa For The Statesman Digital
- 10 months ago
When you lose the spark in a relationship, it’s not always because both of you don’t have time for each other. Almost always, it’s because both of you just aren’t having enough fun together!
All relationships start with a bang. But then a few months or years may pass by, and one fine day, both of you realize that there’s still love and togetherness in the relationship. But it’s just not fun anymore!
The relationship’s boring, both of you just live together and yet share nothing exciting with each other. And both of you convince yourselves that a romantic relationship exists only for togetherness, and only the first few stages of romance feel like fun.
You are probably wondering why couples even lose that spark in their relationship, to begin with. It shouldn’t be so difficult to maintain, right? Well, for many couples it is. So, let’s look at some reasons that this happens.
1. You take each other for granted
The easiest *and yet the harshest* way to reason this loss of spark in your romance is because both of you have started taking each other for granted and given up on trying to impress each other.
2. You stop pleasing each other
One partner may have stopped pleasing the other. And the other partner too may have eventually followed suit. And life just goes on normally because both partners now don’t need to try and impress each other anymore. *because the other partner isn’t doing it.
3. Routine sets in
When we first start dating someone, it’s like taking a hit of your favorite drug. We are literally “high on love” with all the love hormones coming from our brains.
But then, the spark in the relationship wears off. And you return to reality and come down from your love high. Then you get into a routine, and usually, it’s a boring one.
4. Children
If you have children with your partner, then that is a major change in your life. Babies, toddlers, children, and teenagers are all difficult in their own way.
But regardless, they all take attention away from your time with each other. And that can certainly dim the spark in your relationship.
5. Work
Everyone has to work to put food on the table and a roof over their head. But sometimes, people have to work long and difficult hours.
This is something else that takes time away from having fun in a relationship. Even if someone is choosing to work long hours, being a workaholic can definitely dim the spark too.
6. You fight too much
When you first start dating, there is very little conflict because you both are just too happy. But as time goes on, a lot of couples start to fight.
If you don’t know how to handle your disagreements effectively, it can take its toll on the spark in the relationship. Too much fighting can really drag the two of you down.
Bringing the spark back into the relationship can be a lot of fun, and it can make both of you feel like little kids again, but it does take some time and patience. But we can assure you, with every step along the way, you’ll feel closer and more alive than ever before.
These steps are a guideline on how you can bring the spark back into your relationship in a fun and exciting way
1. Make time for each other
Every big change starts in small ways, and this is one such start. The first thing you need to do is learn to make time for each other. It’s not about living together or sleeping together, but about bonding together or sharing something that’s fun.
2. Communicate
Don’t give up on each other. It’s the biggest mistake you can make. Making time for each other is a start, but communication is what brings both of you closer together. Talk to each other frankly *sugarcoating the truth won’t hurt though!* and if there are a few things you don’t like about your partner, talk about it with them.
3. Pillow talk
Don’t bring your worries into bed. Don’t bring your gadgets or reading material into bed. This is the biggest mistake lovers do.
When you enter step three, make a habit of getting into bed with no distractions and just lie down together, even if it seems awkward or boring in bed because there are tons of things you could rather do.
4. Get fit
Well, yes, this sucks, but you need to do this. Most couples let go after getting married or when they get into a long-term relationship. They pile up several pounds, they stop dressing up and they just don’t care anymore. If you’re that partner, change yourself.
5. Surprise each other
The romantic gestures may have been forgotten, but it has to be brought back into your relationship. And if you care enough to bring the spark back into your relationship, you need to start somewhere.
6. Go clubbing
Remember, the loss of spark in love isn’t because of too much distance in love, it’s because both of you have forgotten to have fun together. So do just that! Go out, paint the town red and have fun together.
7. Go on a vacation or a short getaway
The first few steps would bring both of you closer together and bond better. And now, it’s time to make a bigger change. Take off on a vacation or a weekend getaway. But don’t plan something romantic just yet.
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