How to ensure effective communication in relationships
- Published By Jedida Barasa For The Statesman Digital
- 10 months ago
Communication is vital for healthy relationships. Being able to talk openly and honestly with the people in your life allows you to share, learn, respond, and forge lasting bonds. This is a vital part of any relationship, including those with friends and family, but it can be particularly important in romantic relationships.
According to Dr. John Gottman, a clinical psychologist and founder of the Gottman Institute, a couple's communication pattern can often predict how successful a relationship will be.
Good communication can help enhance your relationship in a variety of ways:
It can minimize rumination: Instead of stewing over negative feelings, good communication allows people to discuss their concerns and resolve them in a more positive, effective way.
It fosters intimacy: Forming a close emotional connection with another person requires a mutual give-and-take when it comes to sharing things about yourself and listening to the other person.
This reciprocal self-disclosure means talking about your experiences, beliefs, values, opinions, and expectations. In order to do this, you both need to possess communication skills that foster this connection and allow it to grow and deepen with time.
It reduces and resolves conflict: Every relationship is bound to experience conflict from time to time. When you are able to talk about your problems in an open and honest way, however, you can resolve arguments and disagreements more readily.
Rather than getting caught up in a cycle of misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and emotional strife, you can address your problems and take steps to improve your relationship.
Effective communication is one way to foster a positive, supportive relationship with your partner. When you actively listen and respond to your partner (and they do the same for you), both of you are more likely to feel valued and cared for.
Some of the hallmarks of effective communication in relationships include:
Active listening: Active listening involves being engaged in the conversation, listening attentively, and reflecting back on what people have said. It also involves asking for clarification when needed and avoiding making judgments.
Not personalizing issues: When communicating in relationships, people who are good at it avoid personalizing their partner's actions. Instead, they focus on the situation and how things can be resolved.
Using “I” statements: I-statements can be helpful in interpersonal conflicts. Instead of saying, "You never clean up after yourself," try using an I-statement like, "I feel uncomfortable when there is clutter accumulating around the house."
Kindness: Kindness is important because it makes people feel cared for and understood.
Being present: When talking with your partner, it is important to be fully present in the moment. Getting distracted by outside sources–including electronic distractions such as your phone–can lead to a lack of communication and a poor connection.
Showing acceptance: Healthy communication is about accepting and validating the other person, even if you might not agree with them. When you communicate well with your partner, you’re able to recognize that people have a right to feel their feelings even if those emotions and reactions are different from your own.
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